The Inspire a Kid Podcast

0006 Kord Angelucci- Kord’s Kidz- Inspiring Kids Through Sports and Fitness

November 13, 2017

Hey there. Thanks for tuning in. This is Scott Hooper with Inspire a Kid. Inspire a Kid is a podcast tells the stories of inspiring kids and kid influencers who are inspiring kids to greatness, but also stories of adults who had been inspired to greatness when they were kids. And so today, I have Kord Angelucci with me [applause]. And we are at a place called Evans Mill in Smithville, Tennessee. We are part of a mastermind collective called Iron Sharpens Iron. If you're not part of a mastermind, you need to be a part of one. Because when you surround yourself with people that think bigger than what you can think, man, everything is better.

It's remarkable: my growth in the last two years as a result of being with Aaron Walker. And nine men that are pushing me. It's amazing. You are the five people you are around the most.

That's right.

And it's completely transformed my life, and my business, and my confidence. And yeah, I'm just lucky to be here with other great guys.

That's great. I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me today. Tell us a little bit about yourself, where you're from, kind of what your background is.

I'm from Long Island, New York. I grew up as just a little guy that had a learning disability. And I realized at a young age that being dyslexic and having ADHD is going to be a challenge for me in school. And it really discouraged me. And it caused a couple of things. One was that I had a fixed mindset. And I kind of marched to my own drum. I was not happy in a school setting. And I kind of-- I didn't like it, so I really went against the grain. Which was really good because I think it helped me be an entrepreneur. But I think it was also really bad because I didn't really value a growth mindset, which means not worrying about the outcome, but worrying about the work ethic, and persistence, which I completely share with my children, or the kids that I work with now [laughter]. And when I wrote my book, it was one of the focus points is putting in the hard work and effort, and not necessarily the outcome.

So what you do with kids. Tell us a little bit about what you do with kids. You said you work with kids called Cord's Kids.

Yeah. Cord's Kids.

Is this online? Is this something that you see kids face-to-face, or what is this?

Okay. So for the last 20 years, I've been working with kids in different aspects. I was a Phys Ed teacher. I was a sports director. I did clinics. And I worked one-on-one and in group sessions. And Cord's Kids is a business that improves children's confidence through sports and fitness. And being someone that, well, academically-- that's how we're measured in school. And it wasn't something that was easy for me to do. And I really, probably-- I got really upset. And I would get migraines every Sunday because I knew I had to go back to school. And I was going to fail and not make my parents proud. So I was very lucky, and I have my voice now, and my confidence as a result of just being innately good at sports, especially soccer and ice hockey. And that's what gave me this confidence and this voice to write this book that I just wrote. And this book is about having a voice for children, so that parents are aware of sometimes how they can cause their children self-limiting beliefs.

Okay. Wow. So, yeah. We'll talk about that book here and just saying because I want to know more about it. I want to tell everybody about it. We talked about self-limiting beliefs. I mean, how prevalent-- I mean, I've worked with kids too. I've worked with kids for 30 years. So I understand kind of what you're saying, but for the listeners that are maybe never really thought about this angle, this concept. Kind of define what self-limiting beliefs are, and what they do to a kid, especially in the formative years like when you were a kid.

In school, for me, because I think everyone has a story. And this story is something that really kind of pushes them to lead a life of value, and provide value to others by sharing their story. And everyone has a story. So for me, when I started doing really poorly in school, it was discouraging. But usually, parents focused on-- and society Just going with the norm. And getting good grades, getting a secure job, and getting the Rolex after you--

Right [laughter].

But that's an old concept. And it's almost extinct now. So what I would-- I implore parents to expose their child to whatever innate God-given talent that they have, so that children can have that purpose and passion, and then provide value to others. This book that I just wrote, children with superhero confidence, it's really a blessing because I've been working in a scarce mindset where I've helped hundreds and thousands of kids over my 20 years. But I really need to prepare, or come out with something that can help parents on a larger scale and get my message out there. Self-limiting beliefs is an interesting concept. And I didn't realize my own self-limiting beliefs until the last couple of years being around our groups and masterminds. And we all have this fear. And it might be a primitive thing because when we were cavemen and stuff, we would go in civilizations up to 150 people. And we were scared of being forsaken. So if we didn't belong to the community, and get love and acceptance, we'd be forsaken, which led to absolute guaranteed death. Now, this fear has translated over the years, and it's innate in our brain. And we have fear of how people look at us. So it's amazing because I was just at a workshop about vulnerability last week. We did this exercise that I absolutely loved where we had to stare for 10 seconds into each person's eyes, and then switch. And I learned a couple of things from this. One: I'm very empathetic. So someone else was really uncomfortable, and giggled, and looked away. I kind of mirrored them. But if someone was right, intense with the moment, I was fine with that also. So I memed with that. And I also knew from that experience and exercise that children under the age of seven, eight years old, they don't have a problem making eye contact, or how others judge them. Much like when a child is much-- they're not scared to get on a bike and ride a bike until they're seven, eight years old. And there's something that switches there. The fear of-- becomes more within. And it's just an interesting thing to-- because sometimes when you don't realize these things until you do these exercises, and you have these aha moments, and those really come from-- They never come from advice. They only come from questioning yourself and reflecting on why something happened. So self-limiting beliefs and fear is what holds, I'd say, most people back from having abundant thoughts. People even scarcity. I think most people think scarce when they think money. They think, "We got to pay my bills," or, "We just got to make sure that everything's okay, and stable, and secure." But I just really want people-- I want parents to expose their children to whatever it is out there that can find their children their true purpose in life.

So these limiting beliefs, I mean, it's like a box that, in my thinking, is it's more like a-- sometimes cultural, sometimes environmental, maybe all environmental but it's a box that we begin to believe something that's not necessarily true and it keeps us from moving forward and are you seeing that-- and this is more of a philosophy thing maybe but--

I was a Philosophy major--

Oh, okay. You'll dig this.

I hated school so much, I went to college for 10 years [laughter].

Well, the kind of philosophy that maybe I've come to believe is that our environment really gives us a set of limiting beliefs by which we must do this, we must be this, we've got to or we can't. That's really the limiting beliefs. We can't do this because-- or you were unable to do this because-- do you feel like that a lot of times kids that their excitement about life, their thinking that they can do things is squeezed out by these limiting beliefs by culture or what makes the shift in kids in your experience?

Wow, environment dictates pretty much everything that goes on and where 95% of our hard drive is run by our subconscious. So one of my favorite things to tell people is just perspective reasons. Whether you're 4, 14 or 40 years old, you really want to make mom and dad proud. Okay. And when you're emotionally connected to whatever they have said, so they're language-- because my dad used to call me stupid and then even up until recently I didn't realize the value of language because I would do something silly or drop something or-- and I'd call myself stupid. And I'm like, "As long as I'm doing this, I'm not getting out of the loop." So awareness is one, reconditioning your mind/rewiring your mind is two but we need to understand when we're too hard on our children and we're giving negative feedback, we're not empowering them. So in my book, I have this formula, it's the reinforcement formula. And it's just the simple stuff, just very subtle stuff but-- especially the younger children, if you have positive feedback, right? And you say more positive feedback and then minus negative feedback, and if it equals positive feedback at the end of the day your child is going to be more appropriate and well-behaved. Now if it's positive feedback minus more negative feedback, your child is going to become more oppositional and that's an epidemic that's happening in society. I was brought up in more of fear-based house which a lot of older people-- well, I guess we're not old yet [laughter]--

It's marching forward, we're getting there [crosstalk].

It's amazing because fear definitely works, however it does cause self-limiting beliefs. It does and even society since the beginning of time, fear has controlled people but if we really want to set our children up for success and have a rich learning environment. We need to be very aware of our positive feedback versus our negative feedback. We need to make sure. Another one of my favorite things I say is when a child comes home with four good grades and one bad grade, what does the typical parent talk about?

Yeah, bad grade. Yeah.

And it's unfortunate because whoever is killing it in the world is killing it one niche. So multitasking is just a term made for computers and it's scientifically proven in the last year or two that it just doesn't-- we don't get into deep work and we don't master one thing and that's what we should be really focused on. So school and-- the agenda school had a couple hundred years ago when they started it might not be set up to help your child which is okay. It provides structures and it provides a lot of good things but you have to be a responsible parent at home and make sure you're teaching your child about money and a work ethic, not necessarily the outcome, but persistence and work ethic. So it's [that?] a little awareness things that I think are going to help to make a happier house and because children crave discipline. This is crazy.

Yeah, they do.

And without discipline, we're giving up-- the more discipline that they show, the more freedom you give them, and the rapport is leverage. And we all want more discipline, and we all want attention, but what's going to happen is if a child doesn't get positive attention they're going to get negative attention. So what I see-- well, the summer just ended, but I moved to San Diego so it's always summer [laughter]. So, I'll hear a father say, "Stop running at the pool," but I never hear him say, "Oh, you're walking so nicely at the pool." So we need to make our expectations into appreciations. So, and it's hard for a parent because we get conditioned to just think that that's normal but children they want to move, they want to run. And in school, unfortunately, there's another problem where the teacher is like, "Your child can't focus," and that's an issue because they're not moving enough. Movement, physiology is like the key to life, without movement we don't get the opportunity to sit down and focus, so.

They can't sit there and be still for six hours, or eight hours, or whatever. It just doesn't happen for adults let alone children.

And the easy answer is the problem where we're not-- we're not coping, we need to have coping skills. Just because you're sad doesn't mean you need a pill for that. Sad means there's going to be a time with happy and I think my favorite is contentment because that means you're kind of even-keeled and you-- but it's okay to be sad and heartbreak means that you feel. It's a very important thing for-- so like a teacher will be like, "Oh, your child can't focus," so what happens is they take a pill and then I see the child and he loses all his motivation, he looks like a zombie, and it causes addiction and that-- and it's a shame because those people that are on antidepressants, they're not any less depressed [laughter]. So, it's very interesting and I think this is a-- it's an agenda based upon money which is upsetting but I really don't want children that are ages six through eight-- and the kids I really work with are four through eight years old, and I love them, they're awesome, they're silly, and they're so rich, and they're so-- they have so much intuition, and we just need to make sure that we let them know we're proud of them.

Yeah, medication should be a last resort.

Yes.

And it's oftentimes the first resort instead of okay, let's look at diet, let's look at-- let's look at the exercise, the movement, let's look at the environment. My mom was a teacher for years, and years, and years and the expectation that the school district had because every head was money. There's a lot of teachers and educators, I mean that are out there that love they're in it because they love kids, but the system that's been created--

Oh boy.

--is handcuffing them from actually loving the kids and being able to meet their-- meet those needs that they're really designed and gifted to do, but which is a shame and so we have to behavior modify, behavior modify, behavior modify.

It's amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a downhill spiral unless we get it-- get a grip on this. And so when you deal with kids, now since you're not in that sector, you're-- but with [Courage?] Kid before we get to the book here, but with [Courage?] Kids do you meet-- do you have a group of kids that you meet with regularly or do you do stuff online? Is it something we can find online or what does that look like?

[Couragekids.com?]. I work mostly right now with online to mentor and do fitness workouts with children. I do clinics in San Diego with small groups and one-on-one sessions. I think I've been thinking too scarce so I really wanted to provide a platform to get my-- everything I've learned in the last 20 years out there for people to always be aware because I think that's the first-- that's the catalyst of change. But parents have to lead by example. Children do not listen to words unless you're telling them that you love them or you're proud of them for some reason. So I don't care if you're the strongest guy at your gym, if you're not doing three minutes of working out in front of your kids every day, like squats, push-ups, sit-ups, they're not going to do it. If you're not eating well and proper nutrition-- they mimic everything you do. So I would urge-- challenge parents to at least what's that Gandhi saying? Be The Change You Want To See In The World. And who wants change? Everyone. But who's willing to change? Very few. It's something where parents need to understand that. It's amazing because I challenge parents to do this. Just do squats in front of your kids. Don't ask them to do it. And then after two weeks, all the kids are doing squats next to their parents. Because we want to make them amazing.

That's [crosstalk].

Yeah. We want to make mom and dad proud. And the other thing like Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker. One of my favorite things is he's like, "We're emotionally connected." So if your parents talked bad about money, which mine did, and said, "Money grows on trees," all this other stuff, you're going to have a disposition where if you're making a million dollars a year, you're also going to spend that million dollars a year because the emotional connection to your parents will always win against your knowledge. So just being aware of that is going to help recondition you in order to kind of be just more responsible with money or anything. Yeah.

Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Good stuff. Let's talk about your book. So why a book?

A book. Gives me credibility [laughter]. Again, it's important for me to kind of get this information out there. I feel like it was in a vacuum or just in my head, and I wasn't able to help more than a couple of 100 kids. And I don't have any kids. So a lot of people ask me, "How can you write a book about this without having kids?" And it's just from my experiences being a kid, a child, and hating it, and all I love is kids and dogs. Well, that's because I'm from New York. Now that I moved to San Diego, I like people again [laughter]. But it's just important for me to get my message out there and I want to help people on a larger scale. And there's really no manual for parents to understand how to be a parent that reinforces with positive information or positive reinforcement. And I think it's just so important. From the people that I gave my samples to, the book, and they implemented that in two days and they saw behavioral changes immediately, which is really fun.

And it's a handbook. So it's children with superhero confidence. And it's a handbook because I first wrote it just kind of as a thing to help people and provide value to people. But now, after going to Tony Robbins, and doing a lot of workshops, and learning about my own self-limiting beliefs, I recognize that I needed to make it more interactive, have questions there that I can answer so I can reflect on my own reasons or state. And it's important for me to ask the parents, when they were a child, what made mom and dad proud? And when they weren't proud, how did that make you feel? Because that will bring them back to that time and then they'll have more empathy for their child. And I think my audience is definitely more moms than dads because I think dads get a little bit threatened and there's an egotistical factor to it. But this is something that is my mission, and my calling, and I know it's going to serve lots and lots of people in the right way. And it's almost like a reminder. It's a practice because--

Yeah. And as a parent, and as a dad, as a man, there is a lot-- we parent blindly. But you do have a lot of kids, you've had thousands of kids [laughter].

But the other thing is just like funny because parents can be emotional. And when you're emotional, that doesn't always calls for a very responsible [crosstalk] way to go about it. I mean I think I want kids but we'll see. That's another podcast [laughter].

You do want kids.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's awesome. You're right about the emotional part. So as a parent, I remember there's times that I would get emotional and get angry. Emotionally angry not because of something that was immoral or unethical but the way their behavior reflected-- in some way, I thought it reflected me and my parenting skills and my history as a children's minister and that's the majority of my experience but-- and there's a double pressure there because it's like while you're supposed to reflect the church and what your kid's doing, then you assume all these things and that's not always the case. And I remember my wife pulling me aside and is like, "You really need to be more encouraging." And when your wife pulls you aside and says, "Hey. You're kind of a little harsh there and--" I had to really do a lot soul-searching and find out that I-- as I was journaling one day, it came out that I need to be more interested in my kid's character than in their behavior, if I let their behavior-- if I defined me by their behavior, you can't do that. You can't do that. And I was--

You're going to beat yourself up as well.

That's right, yeah. And you'll end up stifling the direction what you're talking about. You'll find out what they're going to be great at and encourage them in that way. And so as a parent, yeah you got to be-- I love the idea of the book because what I need is not-- I don't need more information but I need that encouragement over and over and over, a reminder. Over and over and over. And so in a way this book seems like it's just that reminder.

That's all I'd want it to be.

It comes across on the front of your mind that, "Okay. Today I need to say some encouraging words. Here's how I'm going to--" almost a plan. So this is an interactive type of a thing--

Yeah, objective.

So it's asking questions for us to think about as parents.

Yeah because I want you to go back to that time where you were both happy and sad because mom and dad were proud and mom and dad were aggravated. And yeah, I know touching around that. That's amazing, I love that and thank you for the kind words but it's just children are so impressionable. And all they want to do, all they want to do, their primary thing is making you proud and they can feel the intuition. So even when parents come home from work on a bad day, I really want them to kind of put on acting face and once they walk in that door, bring that energy. Whether it's true or not because what's going to happen is your family's going to feed off of it and then it's going to come back and it's going to make you happy out of that state. And there's a difference between and doing. So being is a state and doing is a practice. So we need to practice and I would suggest parents to-- because it's only 60 pages, I'm dyslexic. I don't like writing, I was a terrible writer but all my papers even when I try, just red marks everywhere. "You can't write" I was terrible at math and writing but it's like, this is my message. This is what's my service to the world and it's kind of ironic after being told that I'm a terrible writer that I came out with a book but--

That proves that every kid has the potential for greatness.

Absolutely, just got to find it.

You got to find it, you got to help if you're--

Facilitate it.

Yeah, facilitate it. If you're a kid [influencer?] and you have that, whether as a parent, you're a coach, you're a teacher, you're a pastor, whatever you are, facilitate that. Find it and facilitate that. Find it and facilitate it. And I love that-- that's really a good segway because inspire a kid, really travels along the philosophy I believe that every child has the unlimited potential for greatness. Regardless of age, regardless of race, regardless of sex, regardless of ability. And the fact that you're dyslexic and wrote a book, proves that. Absolutely proves that. So I'm going to segway to a whole different question here.

Hold on. I want to stop you. There is, I think, that fear that we are talking about in the beginning that I wasn't able to overcome. It was uncomfortable for me to put myself out there and believe in myself. But I used leverage as-- if I could help five parents or five kids, that leverages over my fear, and how dare I hold this back. Okay. Sorry for interrupting [laughter].

No. No. That's great. No. That's what this is about. No. Conversation. Yeah. So who's your influencer, who has been the biggest single influencer? You had some, maybe, a little bit of a harder home life. Who's been the single biggest influence in your life to get you to where you are today?

So interesting. Okay. Because both my parents are passed. My mom was absolutely loving and welcomed me but my father was on the opposite side. And they were both older but they both passed. I had an older brother who had killed himself. And it's amazing how things happen for people and not to people. So if we remember that happening for and not to, we already changed. There's a paradigm shift. So when my brother killed himself, my mom got a second job to give me the ability to play ice hockey, which I was begging for for five years. And just the practice of-- it was just my passion. I didn't know I was going to be good at it but then I learned how to skate in three, four years. I was crashing into the boards because it didn't stop. It was a hot mess. But I got really good. And then that is where I found my voice and my confidence.

And if it wasn't for my mom knowing that she had to do something-- it's the hardest thing in the world when you lose a child, especially in that way. So it was important for her to-- and maybe that's why I have this empathy. Because she gave me this possibility to believe in myself. And we were talking earlier about being measured by academics but you're also measured when you do any extracurricular activities. So I was really good at hockey and you could hear all the other parents saying, "Well, that's--" and all the other kids. And it's whatever we measure experience. So when we're doing this formula that's objective in this book that I make, you're going to find out that when you're getting pluses on positive reinforcement at the end of the day, you're going to see a change in your child's behaviors, and they're going to be thankful for it.

It's just going to be a happier, more content home. So I think Tony Robbins is definitely one of the people because I think his message of absolute love and willingness to do for others, he's just an amazing person. And I think following other-- we talked about like-minded people, we talked about masterminds. But if you're, I think, investing in yourself, it can be free. So we have podcast, your podcast. We have other podcasts, and we have books, and you have YouTube. And when you're doing and you're implementing these in your life on a daily occurrence, you're going to be learning but then you're going to be changing perhaps your negative mindset into a positive mindset. It's free. But a lot of people don't want to do it because it is hard work and it's practice.

So I think going to the Tony Robbins event, which was expensive but well worth it, it completely changed my life. But I would say my mom was a huge factor, brother was a huge factor, and there's other-- the people in San Diego right now have been unbelievable. They're welcoming me to workshops and it's a really rich unbelievable environment that wises you up and doesn't hold you back because they're scared that you're going to be competition.

Oh, wow. That's great. I love what you said that a paradigm shift takes place when you can realize it's something that's not done to you but how [inaudible] done for you.

It's done for you, not to you.

Wow. That's incredible. So circumstances, some are bad, some are good but if it can all lead something better. Right?

Yeah, I mean it just builds character. I mean it sucks at the time, right?

Yeah, absolutely.

It's the other thing is I like-- it's like you-- when I do a speaking engagement, I'm like well, who has a business. And then only a certain number of people raise their hands, I was like, "That's not true. You all have a business. It's your life." Right? So in life, you want to hire slow and fire fast whether it's employees or relationships. And unfortunately people get into toxic relationships and they hold on for months or even years and it's hard to do it. But once you do it, the first few stages-- just like working out. Once you start doing a workout session, I do workouts also. [laughter] But that's me because I love these kids and the parents want them to stay in my life and a mentor. It's really great. But when you start doing a workout, it really sucks. After two weeks, it's a little better. After four weeks, you're feeling confidence. And after a period of time, you're like, "Why didn't I do that earlier?" So with time, they also say, "You overestimate what you could do in a year and you underestimate what you can do with 10 years." So anytime you make a change, it's definitely hard. I think it's one of the hardest things for all human beings to do is change. But after you make that change and you do a for a number of months, you're just so thankful that you got out of something that was toxic. It's the power of no. Whether it's self-hate, the language I said to myself. I'm so stupid. That's just something that we said and I was like it's subconscious and that dictated me believing myself having enough courage to put myself out there which I have done in the last couple of months as a result of being with other people and getting over that fear. The fear is something that holds many people back. And you know the greatest songwriter was never found or the best basketball player or the best artist because they were just too scared. So you never know until you keep on practicing and then you get more confidence and then what you're confident at you develop a passion for.

Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. That's awesome. So tell us how we can get ahold of the book or what's the next steps? If you were to tell a parent, "Hey, you need to get this." Where can we go?

So I'm going to have free ebook on-- I'm going to have it on my website and then after I want to get--

Kordskidz.com.

Kordskidzs.com. I just-- download it and they'll be an ebook. I will after I get some capital I'm going to put it into a paper book kind of format with a ring so you could turn it. I want it to be interactive. It is interactive and I want to be something that parents look at every six months just as a reminder as the practice. Because with practice then you can get into that state where you're understanding contentment or just putting your children in a better situation to be positive and believe in themselves. Confidence is just so important.

Yeah, it is. It is. So children with superhero confidence. Learn how to enhance child's true purpose. Cord Angelucci.

You said it right. Good job.

Again, I said it right again.

Yes, yes.

There's a lot of Cs in that name. Awesome. Well, I really appreciate you--

Scott, thank you very much.

--doing this interview and best of luck to you. I love your heart for kids. I hope you're blessed in everything that you do with that, man.

Yeah, kordskidz.com and children with superhero confidence and if you like it please leave a review and it will be on Amazon. And yeah, if you ever need any-- if you have questions or any advice, you can just hit me up on my website and my email is kord.angalucci@gmail.com or Kord@kordskiz.com and kordskidz is K-O-R-D-S-K-I-D-Z. Yeah.

That's pretty important. There's Ks in there and Zs in there you wouldn't expect.

 

K-O-R-D-S-K-I-D-Z dot com.

Thank you.

Fantastic. Thanks, man. Appreciate it.